I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
