Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
