All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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