We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
