is your mom at the bar?
In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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