worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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