seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
