i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Randomize
