I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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