nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
