best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
