dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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