im drinking this country out of the recession.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
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