I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Randomize