doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
