Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
You're earring is so big in my mouth
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
