She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
and eventually we just all took our pants off
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
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