Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
