She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
