We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Why is there bacon in the couch?
Randomize