I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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