i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
