Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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