i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize