So drunk, too bad you don't want this
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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