I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
