even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
