is your mom at the bar?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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