Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
