she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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