none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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