one word: firstdatebathroomanal
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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