WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
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