so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
