Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I should just throw a hundred dollar bill into the wind and walk away... save myself the hangover.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Randomize
