my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
