and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
