Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
