I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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