wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
At lowes after workin outside. Kid behind me says "mommy that man smells like a taco" yes she was talking about me.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Randomize
