we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm way too sober and people are way too heterosexual
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
