i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
