Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
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