Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
