He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Old men and throwing up are my life now.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
