I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
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