At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
