found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
