Walk of Shame. In a state park.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
