just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Randomize
