The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
Randomize
