I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
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