Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
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