Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
