But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
