Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
This is the high leading the old right now
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
lol hangovers are for mortals.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
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