I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
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