no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
