so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
That reminds me...we need to get swords
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
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