Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
