I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
