Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
