two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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