Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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