dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Randomize
