Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
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