What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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