remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
