32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
She's not a foreskin expert like you
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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